Chapter 387: Heaven?

After hearing my words, Xiao Sun was clearly stunned.

"Zhang Jie... what are you planning to do?" he asked, a bit dazed. "Stop this right now! You can't ruin your whole life over that scum!"

"Yes, I'm destroying my own life, but it's not like it started just now," I said to Xiao Sun with a look of despair. "So, you don't need to get involved. I'll handle it myself."

"What?"

"I'm staking everything on this, and even if there's a price to pay, I won't regret it."

I absolutely can't let him go to prison.

I want him dead.

Xiao Sun fell silent for a long time before finally forcing out the words, "Zhang Jie, I told you before, no matter what happens, I want to be with you. If you live peacefully, then so will I... If you take risks, then I will too..."

"Don't be foolish!" I said, looking at him with desperation. "Don't you understand? I'm a monster!"

"You're not a monster at all!" Xiao Sun replied, growing anxious. "You're just someone who's fighting hard, Zhang Jie. Don't blame yourself for all of this."

"You don't get it... I'm not the person I used to be. I've lost the right to have love in this life. I'm a filthy woman beyond words!"

Those nightmare-like scenes flashed through my mind, making me feel dizzy all over.

"What are you talking about!?" Xiao Sun stared at me intently, his expression serious. "Jie, that man raped you. He's the filthy one! He should be the one scorned, blamed, and punished by the law. Why should it be you? You're just the victim! Is the victim guilty?!"

Ha...

Yes, I'm the victim.

But in this society, how many people would truly accept a woman who's been raped?

How many would look at her without judgment?

Does it even matter if I'm a victim?

This is my original sin as Zhang Laidi, and it has nothing to do with anyone else.

If this gets out, our relationship with Xiao Sun would face endless strange looks from people, and that's unfair to him.

He's a promising young lawyer, handsome, with a gentle and sunny personality, yet he'd end up with someone like me—a cunning and vicious woman, gloomy by nature, and one who's been raped.

It's ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.

Even as a stranger, I'd look down on him for it.

He's too good, too radiant.

And what am I?

I'm a fully grown monster, cold inside, where even sunlight doesn't cause a ripple.

"Zhang Jie, I know it's not the right time to say this... but I've already decided I want to walk the rest of your life's path with you," Xiao Sun said, tears in his eyes and a bitter smile. "If you make a dangerous choice, I'll... go with you."

"Even if my life is only short from now on, you'd still come with me?" I asked coldly.

"Yes, if you're going to kill someone, then I'll go too," he said. "We'll be sentenced together and leave this world side by side."

I stared into Xiao Sun's eyes for a long time before slowly lowering my head. Why...?

A sense of helplessness lingered around me.

I wanted to kill Ma Tuhu with my own hands, but I couldn't drag Xiao Sun into it.

This has nothing to do with him; it's unfair to him.

"Xiao Sun, can you just leave me alone?" I asked. "You'll never understand my life, so how can you walk it with me?"

"Zhang Jie, we've spent many years together, and I know you," Xiao Sun said. "You just want to be treated like an ordinary person. That's not too much to ask. No matter what unfair things you've faced before, I'll make up for them double in the days ahead, so that neither you nor I leaves this world with any regrets."

I sat on the bed, curling up and burying my head in my knees.

Why is this happening?

Some people unleash all their malice on me without conditions, while others show me kindness no matter the cost. How does the "scale" of the world work...?

Heaven, are you tormenting me or saving me?

Why do you keep building hopes for me, only to let them collapse again and again?

I can't figure it out. All I know is I can't drag Xiao Sun down—it's not fair to him.

"I... won't go through with it," I said, shaking my head. "I'm giving up. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Really?!" Xiao Sun looked at me with joyful surprise. "Zhang Jie, have you thought it through?"

"Mm..." I nodded with a bitter smile. "Let's report it to the police."

...

In the days that followed, I focused on resting and recovering, while Meng Meng handled all the affairs at the law firm. Xiao Sun took full charge of the case against Ma Tuhu.

With solid evidence and the serious nature of the crime, the police acted quickly. They raided his home under cover of night, broke down the door, and arrested him on the spot.

The photos of me stored on his phone were handed over to me for handling. I didn't want to look at them anymore, so I endured the nausea and deleted them all.

Yes, if I'd chosen the legal route from the start, everything would have gone so smoothly.

Xiao Sun was running around on my behalf during those days, which made me feel sorry for him. When I offered to pay his lawyer fees, he refused outright.

He said he wasn't taking on a case; he was just helping a friend.

He's truly a wonderful person, the second beacon in my life.

Apart from Teacher Ning Wanyer, no one else in this world has shown me kindness without expecting anything in return.

He understands all my feelings and cares for all my thoughts, treating me as the one-of-a-kind person in the world.

This feeling is almost too surreal.

I often wonder if I really deserve to meet someone this good.

Two months later, I visited Sun Jiaqi's home for the first time as his girlfriend, formally meeting his parents and his sister.

No, I shouldn't call him Xiao Sun anymore.

He's my boyfriend, Sun Jiaqi.

Jiaqi's parents were just as I imagined—very welcoming. Once they learned I was his girlfriend, they happily prepared a big feast. His sister took an instant liking to me as her sister-in-law and kept holding my arm, chatting away.

As she held my hand, I felt uncomfortable. Even after all this time, I'm still not used to being touched.

Not even by a sunny and cheerful girl.

"Don't keep holding Chen Ze like that..." Jiaqi said thoughtfully, coming to my rescue. "How can your sister-in-law eat if you're holding on?"

"I don't care~" his sister said playfully. "I finally have a sister-in-law! I want to tell her all about my brother's embarrassing stories from when he was little!"

The atmosphere in this family was like paradise.