Chapter 1374: Zhang Liju (Twenty)

Perhaps I take after Dad in that way.

He's a stubborn one—everyone else wouldn't let girls go to school, but he insisted on it. Everyone else made their daughters earn money for their brothers' weddings and houses, but he refused to.

I'm stubborn too. Dad and Mom didn't want me to go work to pay for Liang Wa's medical treatment, but I went anyway. They didn't want me to leave home without a word, but I couldn't stay.

I took one last look at Liang Wa and reached out to hug him.

Even though he was just teasing me and making me laugh like always, I knew this time was different.

I'd been preparing to leave home for a while, and the next time I saw Liang Wa, it would only be in one of two ways.

Either I'd scrape together enough money and take him joyfully to a big hospital in the city.

Or I'd be viewing his remains, solemnly wiping his face clean as his sister.

After settling things for Dad and Mom, I told them I'd write letters regularly, then packed a few clothes in a woven bag and left home.

Letters probably won't happen—I'd only send money back.

As long as I stuck around this family, they'd never live a normal life.

Now that word of my madness would spread, people would know that Zhang Lijuan isn't even afraid of death, so probably no one would come to our house causing trouble anymore.

Though Dad and Mom's life wouldn't go back to how it was before, at least it would be a bit better.

Mom insisted on giving me back the over two thousand yuan I'd brought home before I left, but I didn't take it.

My journey ahead was long, and I might never return.

A few days later, I quit my job at the factory and left the workshop with just a hundred yuan left.

The only comfort was that I walked out with my head held high—no one forced me this time; I resigned on my own.

I didn't cry out in pain, and I didn't give up.

I'm fundamentally different from those people who spend their free time gossiping about others—I can't stop here for even a step.

The whole workshop is sick now. Even if I leave, they'll just find someone else to vent on. That place can't provide me with any more financial support; it would only slowly devour me in the days ahead.

But where am I supposed to go...?

Just like before, I got on a long-distance bus alone and set off again, this time heading to Sheng Cheng to try my luck.

On the bus, a young man next to me suddenly asked:"You... are you that Er Niang...?"

I looked at him expressionless, my eyes showing no emotion."Yeah, it's me." He gestured, trying to introduce himself. "We used to work together at the watch assembly factory. You forget? Are you going to Sheng Cheng too?"

It seemed like he wanted to chat me up, but his opening line was totally destructive.

He didn't even remember my name, only that I was some Er Niang.

His words drew glances from many people on the bus, but I stayed expressionless, saying nothing the whole time, just turning my face to the window.

What could I do? Declare my innocence here?

He'd just pull out that "everyone knows" excuse again and drag me back into the mud.

They're all sick.

Luckily, my walls are up. I'm hiding in a sealed room in the corner, so I shouldn't get hurt anymore.

My life is completely ruined, but at least I have to make sure Liang Wa's turns out okay.

In front of Dad, I'd even trade my life for money. With that kind of resolve... what job couldn't I do?

Like I said, life is just about selling yourself.

Whether it's being wrongly called an Er Niang, getting beaten, cursed, or fired—it's all worth some cash.

When I stepped onto the land of Sheng Cheng, I finally felt like I was still alive. No one here looked at me, and no one whispered about me.

I asked around and found the biggest labor market in Sheng Cheng, going there to try my luck on site.

Unfortunately, the proper job postings inside the building required at least a high school education, and the contractors outside in their vans were mostly hiring for manual labor like construction or electrical work—I couldn't grab onto either straw. I just wandered the labor market day after day.

Even when some older women occasionally came to hire female workers, the pay was only ten yuan a day without food or lodging. I thought it over and still said no.

It seemed like young people from the surrounding towns were all flocking to the provincial capital, making labor here cheaper than in some villages.

I stayed in a guesthouse for eight yuan a night, sharing a room with nine other people, plus three yuan a day for meals—my hundred yuan was running out fast.

That night, I stared at the last ten yuan in my hand for a long time, knowing that if I couldn't find a decent job soon, I'd have to take on some simple work just to survive.

As long as I keep the green hills, I won't lack firewood. As long as I survive, maybe later...

Wait...

Suddenly, an idea hit me.

Why do I need to survive?

If something happened to me... if I died in the labor market, could such a big official place just ignore it...?

Wouldn't they send some condolence money to my family?

Ten thousand might be too much... what about eight thousand...?

Or even three thousand...?

Thinking of that, I checked out of the guesthouse, bought a bottle of Bai Cao Ku from a hardware store, tucked it into my bag, and went back to the labor market.

If I couldn't find a suitable job today, I'd just lie down here.

In this world, a lot of people want me dead, but death should still be a transaction.

Just as I thought, the day passed quickly, and I still hadn't found any work that could support me.

I hadn't eaten or drunk anything all day, had no place to stay, and only two yuan and fifty cents left.

This life made me feel utterly exhausted.

Maybe it was time to end it.

I pulled the Bai Cao Ku out of my bag and went to a corner of the labor market courtyard. I couldn't get too close to the entrance—if I was going to die, it had to be in the corner so no one would find me and take me to the hospital.

If I died in the hospital, the deal would be off.

I sneaked over, twisted open the cap, and smelled the irritating odor from the bottle. I closed my eyes and was just about to tilt it back when I felt a hand grab my arm.

Confused, I opened my eyes and saw a woman with dyed blond hair standing in front of me.

She looked about thirty or forty, with fine lines on her face, though her thick makeup made them less noticeable.

She had high cheekbones, small eyes, and bright red lipstick on her lips. It was summer, and I noticed she was wearing faded flip-flops, even with nail polish on her toes.

"...What... what are you doing?" I asked, puzzled.

"Damn." The woman took the Bai Cao Ku from my hand, looked at it, and said, "Kid, are you tired of living?"

"I... you don't... give it back to me..." I said, my voice trembling.

She ignored me completely, threw the Bai Cao Ku into a nearby trash bin, and then asked:"What kind of mental fortitude is that? Can't find a job and you want to die?"